Guilt About Leaving - Robert Porter

Leaving the US was difficult, like I said, besides family and friends, neighborhood, what your familiar with. You know, it was really difficult on many levels. I felt really guilty. I was leaving behind people that I knew, you know, I had friends that were going off to war, maybe die, might be injured, traumatized by what they've seen and done. You know, and I’ve always had a little of that in the back of my mind ever since. Even after all these years, I keep thinking about— in some ways I should have gone to understand the pain in what they went through. So, I do actually still keep a little bit of a guilt that I— I didn't stay and didn't do that, maybe not for the country, but for family and friends that did go to understand better what they went through, but uh, but you know, you have left your country, but now, it's— it's so funny because I've been here for a long time. This is my home, and uh, as much as my family still doesn't understand. Crossing the border is always a funny thing. I'm always a little apprehensive still when I cross the border to the US and when I come home. There's that sigh of relief as you come across to Canadian immigration and you're, you're back, you're back on the, back on the 401 in Ontario and you're headed home. So, Canada is my home, and has been for a long time.

Oral History 16.03.04RP with Robert Porter
Canadian Museum of Immigration at Pier 21